It's All in Your Mind
by Angela2
Summary: Ensign Celine Miles has been having some disturbing dreams. She finds when she wakes up that they're coming true. She has to face the horrifying dreams again and again, and eventually must save herself, and her sanity.


Disclaimer: I own none of the characters except for the Ensign in this story. No profit is made. You know the drill.  
  
It's All in Your Mind Ensign Celine Miles shot up in her bed. Her black, curly hair was matted to her forehead from the sweat, and her heart was racing. Her green eyes searched the dark room, but couldn't find any traces of the horrors she had just witnessed. The room seemed to be laughing at her; accusing Celine she was insane. Captain Janeway was holding on to the airlock door, her face in absolute terror. If Janeway could have screamed, she would have. But then she wouldn't be able to breathe. She tried so desperately to regain entrance into the ship, but it was to no avail. All Celine had to do was open the airlock doors and help her in. She didn't move to help, and the console was so close to her. It called out to her to press the button to open the hatch. It seemed her feet where stuck to the floor. She couldn't move, but didn't seem afraid of it. She in no way would ever want to hurt her Captain, so this sense of indifference was so strange. She should want to do something. The worst terror she had ever experienced came over her. All she had to do was open the door. When Janeway died, the crew blamed Miles. No one said it of course, they were too well trained, but she knew. Their eyes gave it away. In every one of their faces a deep pain was present. The loss of their Captain was almost impossible to bare, and she could tell everyone was watching her. Hell, she even blamed herself. But the pain in Chakotay's eyes was the most unbearable of all. He had lost his Captain, and friend. He was the Captain now, and he had to be in control. Chakotay couldn't appear affected. But his face was void of emotion now. It sank in and he never smiled any more. He didn't even have the feelings left to cry any more. All the Ensign kept remembering was the look on the Captain's face moments before her death. Celine shook her head. It was just a dream, nothing more. Just a dream. She reminded herself. But it felt so real. It was too vivid. She turned the lights on low and went to the sink. She splashed some cool water on her face. It felt refreshing, and helped her to calm down a little. Miles looked up at the mirror and nearly screamed. It was Janeway's pale face staring back at her, hideous, ghostly, and blaming. She couldn't bare to look at that face. Somehow she knew that it would be a long time before she stopped seeing that expression. She hit her commbadge. "Captain, are you alright? This is Ensign Miles." "Yes, I'm fine. Why? Is something wrong?" A confused voice answered. "No, never mind. Forget I called." She ended the transmission and let out a sigh of relief. The Captain was alive. She convinced herself to go to sickbay, and made her way quickly there before she could change her mind. She looked at the ground not seeing anyone for fear that she'd see her dream again. "There's nothing wrong with you Ensign. Just some increased blood pressure and elevated heart rate. What are your symptoms?" The Doctor asked, tapping buttons on a tricorder. Celine smiled. "Nothing, just a little nervous I guess. I'm working the Alpha shift tomorrow for the first time." "Well congratulations." Doctor replied sarcastically. He left to sit in his office and work. Miles hopped off the biobed and walked cheerfully away. She wasn't in a happy mood really, she felt like she was going nuts. She had hoped that the Doctor tell could tell her why she was seeing these nightmares. She returned to her quarters and paced for a solid hour before getting ready for her shift. She would finally get to see the main crew at work. Miles smiled as she exited the turbolift when it stopped on the first deck. "Welcome to Alpha shift, Ensign." Chakotay said. Celine nodded and took her place on the bridge and began working. She was nervous all day, and was fidgety. Celine was afraid of making a mistake in front of the Captain. The crew expected her to be a little jumpy, so they took no notice. Every new Ensign was the same way, but they all thought she showed a lot of potential. Suddenly, she saw Janeway reaching for the airlock again. Miles was her only hope, and yet she did nothing. The looks the crew gave her flashed across her view. Stop it! She thought. Then, the vision was gone as quickly as it had arrived. The Ensign was shaking visibly now, and Chakotay became worried. "You look like you need to go to sickbay." A worried Chakotay said. She nodded, not having enough energy to say anything. Miles couldn't stand, and her knees buckled. Chakotay had to catch her. He put his arm around her waist and helped her to sickbay. "I can give you a relaxant, but I can't find anything wrong with you. You just need some rest." Doctor said as he gave the Ensign a hypospray. "Thank you, I feel much better." She was lying of course, but no one had to know that. She went to her quarters and slept. Celine didn't have the nightmare again. This one was worse. Much worse. Someone was stabbing the Captain. Janeway was in the Sickbay, near the main surgical biobed. There were two aliens, but she couldn't see them. They were cutting her severely, and the Captain struggled. She kicked and tried to deflect the dagger. They continued, and the Captain let out a blood-curdling scream and fell still. Again, Celine had done nothing to stop them; the same feeling as before had come over her. She approached the corpse. It was so badly mangled it was hard to tell it was Janeway at all. The cuts had disfigured her face and arms. That same look of blame was on her face. Miles woke up screaming. She was so close to going crazy the feeling was almost palpable. She was breathing quickly. Janeway ran in, hearing Celine's scream. Janeway had been on her way to the messhall when she had heard it. Ensign Miles' face turned the palest white imaginable. She was seeing Janeway's bleeding, corpselike face. Miles began to scream and cry harder, now that her nightmare had become true. She had no idea that she was seeing things. Janeway put her arms around Miles to comfort her, and that brought on an even worse high-pitched scream. Miles was going berserk. Janeway beamed her directly to sickbay. This caused another fit of absolute horror. She thought she was being forced to relive the scene. The Doctor used a sedative to control her. She awoke after a few hours and Janeway was still by her side. This didn't bother her because Janeway's face was normal again. The Captain smiled comfortingly. "What happened Ensign?" "Nothing. I just thought. Oh, never mind. Everything's ok." "Captain, she needs rest, you should go. She'll be alright, she's suffered a nervous break down." The Doctor said. She nodded and headed for the door. The doors opened a moment before they should have. That's odd; maybe the sensors are too sensitive. Two aliens entered. They were eight feet tall, and were very muscular. It looked like no one could beat them in combat. Their presence was very intimidating. They had leathery skin that looked very thick, and ugly faces that would chill one to the bone. The taller one, known as His'ork, unsheathed a dagger. It reminded Celine of a Klingon D'k tahg knife; only all the edges were serrated. It looked even more deadly. His'ork thrust the blade toward Janeway's chest, and Miles saw her dream again. Janeway was lying on the floor dead. Her body drained of blood, and her face as white as a sheet. She saw the Captain's face again. The look of blame that seared into her eyes and she believed she'd never see anything but that face again. But she did see more. The vision faded and His'ork was laughing. It was an evil, deep, menacing laugh that scorched her brain. She thought she'd never hear anything but that laugh again. But she did hear more. The grotesque alien opened its hideous snarling mouth and said, "Are you ready to talk, or should I show you more?" He put one of his four fingers threateningly on the switch that would start it all over again. She reached the nearby counter. She couldn't take any more of this, and would never tell him what he wanted to know. Miles got the dagger, and in one swift move, she thrust the cold metal into her chest and fell to the ground, still. Only a moment later, Captain Janeway beamed in. She ran to the Ensign hoping to save her in time. But all Celine saw next was that same look of blame. She slipped into the darkness, and now that was all she would see for eternity. That look of blame wasn't meant for Miles, Janeway was blaming herself for not making it in time. The Ensign would never know that now. The sight of the dead Ensign sent a shiver down her spine. That sight would remain with the Captain for the rest of her life. There was no escaping the vision of the person she had killed if only because she didn't make it in time. Kathryn returned to the ship with the body of Ensign Celine Miles, regretting the loss of such a fine officer. 


End file.
